There was always something I wanted it seems. Unfortunately, my parents didn’t have that much money, so I had to be careful of what I asked for and I only received toys at Christmas and my birthday.
I remember going to my friends house in middle and high school. Her mom would always take them to the dollar store, so they could pick out a little toy. They would do so without a thought. It was only a dollar, so what was the problem? I always politely declined thinking about when I was younger how my mom would call those toys “junk” and that it would end up broken on my floor. It gave me a sense of pride when I said no even when my friend came out with some putty or a toy that we would play with for a few minutes. Still, I was jealous and wished my mom was able to give me that stuff even if it was just “junk.”
I did really want something. Every Saturday my mom and I would go to Tops where they sold, like everywhere else, the American Girl dolls. I cannot explain to you how much I looked at those American Girl dolls with hopeful eyes. My mom bought me the books, so I had a number of the Samantha American girl books, but I still didn’t have that doll.
Despite my love for the dolls, I never got one for Christmas or my Birthday. I’m not sure why, but I most likely would forget about them during these important times. I’m not sure I would have got one since they were expensive, but I could hope. I always wanted to get the dresses and clothes. I had a brother who was only 13 months younger than me, so we played mostly with gender neutral things or cars and sometimes, dolls. I wasn’t a big girly girl, but I still wanted one of those dolls.
Obviously, I’ve grown out of it, but whenever one of my Girl Scouts brings one of them in, there’s a sense of hope that I’ll be able to make one despite being 21. Maybe, I’ll have a daughter who will want one even if she’s embarrassed to like “girly stuff” and maybe would dress her up with her own sense of fashion. I have high hopes.