Posters, Nerds, and Tattoos

Wall to Wall

What do you display on the walls of your home — photos, posters, artwork, nothing? How do you choose what to display? What mood are you trying to create?

Currently, nothing and I’m sure that’s bad. After living from tiny apartment to tiny apartment, I feel like posters and pictures make the space seem even smaller if that’s possible. I don’t have any children to put pictures of up and I’m not plastering the walls with pictures of me and my boyfriend. Yuck.

I did have a wonderful poster I got for Christmas from said-boyfriend. He bought it from dftba.com and it’s a quote from John Green:

“…because nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff… Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can’t-control-yourself love it. When people call people nerds, mostly what they’re saying is ‘you like stuff.’ Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, ‘you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness’.”

I’m going to be honest here and say that I did copy and paste this in from Goodreads where it’s in normal black font and size. I guess you’re getting what the poster looks like! YAY?

Anyway, it was an awesome poster with John Green (whom I aspire to be) talking about how awesome nerds are. What else would I want? Unfortunately, my dog ate it two days later when he left it on the floor. Sad.

Let’s talk about what I would like for my writing room because that’s where I would most likely put up wall decorations. I would love to have a post-it note collage where I could write down my random ideas and snatches of conversation. I want my John Green poster up as well to remind me why I write. A Harry Potter one would be lovely to remember where my inspiration comes from. A big piece of my own calligraphy in Tengwar (elvish script) would also be cool.

That last one I have a small version of, I guess, but it’s cross-fandom. In Tengwar, I wrote Daenerys’s full name with all the titles. You know: “Daenerys Stormborn from the House Targaryan, mother of dragons…” and on and on and on. It was fun. I have odd hobbies and intense love for my fandoms.

I’m moving into a whole new topic but it links to a love for fandoms, so I guess it’s not new-new.

I do not have any tattoos mostly because I’m terrified of getting bored. I get bored with everything. If a book takes me more than two weeks to read, it’s discarded. I have no patience. My boyfriend has been working on the fifth Game of Thrones book for three months. I know the ending. It is painful.

And yet, I want some fandom tattoos. My body would become a showcase for all things I love. A Harry Potter quote on my ribs, a Tengwar LoTR quote wrapped around my ankle, a Buffy tribute (somewhere), a mockingjay on my shoulder blade, and maybe something to tribute Dany from Game of Thrones as well.

It’s a crazy time. I’m always looking for ideas and I’m always afraid I’ll change my mind. I used to really like Twilight and now I hate it. What if that happens with something like the Hunger Games? I really like the books and I found it inspiring, but it’s not to the point of the other books and shows I have watched.

This is my life.

Any tattoos any of you have to represent your fandom alliance? Don’t worry, I won’t steal.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/wall-to-wall/”>Wall to Wall</a>

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Book, Books, and More Goals?

Easy Fix

Write a post about any topic you wish, but make sure it ends with “And all was right in the world.”

It’s 2015 and that means another personal reading challenge.

I read and I believe I read a lot considering what I do. In 2014, I read 82 books. I’m sure others read more than this especially considering five of those books were Angel graphic novels and a few others were children’s books. At the start of 2014, I re-read the Harry Potter series as I try to do almost once a year. I also read the Percy Jackson series, which has become my current favorite series right now (working on the Heroes of Olympus currently). I included Sex and the Citadel that I had to read for my Anthropology class. In Spring, I included some of the other books I had to read for classes (I cannot remember what ones those were anymore). Overall, I came to 81 books. I was in my last year of Undergrad and taking some challenging courses. I worked at the library and did not take a summer break. I also learned to crochet, so that meant an increase in Netflix watching and a decrease and personal reading. I tried to get through the Chronicles of Narnia and failed. Completed the Song of Fire and Ice. Finished off the Alice series and am very happy I can stop reading it. I read some amazing books as well: The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender, The Golem and the Jinni, House of Leaves, We Were Liars, and Written on the Body. All of which I would recommend. YA/Magical Realism, Historical/Magical Realism, Meta/Horror?, YA/Mystery, Women’s/Romance. All of those books were wonderful reads, but now a new year!

My goal for 2015 is set at 85 books. I didn’t make goal of 100 books last year, so I decided to set this one higher than my completed. I have a feeling I’ll read more considering I’m no longer in school 😦 and do not yet have a job. I have two reading challenges currently. My 85 books and one that was re-posted of Facebook a few times and currently lives on my Pinterest.

2015 Reading Challenge. I've pretty much done this on my own already, and I'm counting some things I've had to read in school because I loved most books..but it's a great idea!

So far I have: A book with more than 500 pages (A Discovery of Witches), A book you can finish in one day (Ghosting), A book set somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit (Anansi Boys), A funny book (I Suck at Girls), A book with magic (The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her Own Making), and that’s all right now.

That’s also all the books I’ve read so far except for The Lost Hero which could fit into one of the categories already chosen, but I  used one of the others for that category. I’m going to try not to double dip. I don’t think I’ll be able to get all of them out. A book set during Christmas would be a hard one for me to figure out. Does it mean a holiday book? Or does it just have  to have Christmas in it? A book with bad reviews? Ugh. Many of the books with good reviews I can’t stand. A book set in your hometown? I live in a tiny town. I’m going to have to find one set in Ithaca, the closest known town. My grandma did give me one Tess of the Storm Country. It may have to be a double/triple dipper because it fulfills a few categories that I’m not sure I want to fill: a classic romance, published 100 years ago, and is set in Ithaca, NY. YAY! She did give me one that’s hard to read because it’s a cheap version of an ebook since she said it’s hard to read on the Nook. It’s definitely harder to read in print (tiny print and horrible lack of white space). I might have to cheat. Sarah Dessen’s new novel comes out in May as well! So that’s exciting.

I like my challenges so I hope I’ll actually be able to complete this one (and maybe write more reviews?). For 2015, my goals are:
-Read at least 85 books
-Crochet some stuff and sell some stuff
-Find a job I love/Apply  to grad school/those type of goals
-Write and finish a rough draft of my Middle-grade novel

If I can manage to complete all of that, all will be right in the year 2016.

<a href="https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/easy-fix/">Easy Fix</a>

J.K. Rowling’s Story

Fireside Chat

What person whom you don’t know very well in real life — it could be a blogger whose writing you enjoy, a friend you just recently made, etc. — would you like to have over for a long chat in which they tell you their life story?

I’m branching off from this a little bit because I honestly don’t know. I read a few blogs, but I’m so awkward when it comes to talking to new people, I wouldn’t want to meet them. It’s a bit scary.

I’m going to include anyone on this and will pick J.K. Rowling.

Okay, okay. I know it’s cliche. Almost everyone who likes Harry Potter would love to meet her, but it isn’t to ask her about Harry Potter (though I’d like that too). I’m interested in hearing her story from her directed to me. I’ve listened to interviews about her difficult start, what it means to actually be poor, and somehow keeping her spirit alive to write a tale that’s so magical, it captures the heart of every reader. You can’t be dead inside and write something as magical as Harry Potter.

I want to hear her tale of how she dealt with the pain and the loneliness. Where she found inspiration and how she made herself continue writing when she had so many other things to be preoccupied about.

J.K. Rowling is a hero of mine and not just because of her writing. If she had been rich while writing Harry Potter, I’d still love her, but her tale of struggle is inspiring. Through her writing she shaped my life and continues to change it every  time I read Harry Potter. I don’t know how many times I’ve read the series, but I know every time I do, I find something new. When I got older and started reading her interviews, I learned how wonderful she is as a person. She herself, continues to change my life and inspires me to keep writing and living every single day.

I’m at the point where I don’t sob, but just tear up when I read this. Progress.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/fireside-chat/”>Fireside Chat</a>

Warnings in a Relationship

Connect the Dots

Open your nearest book to page 82. Take the third full sentence on the page, and work it into a post somehow.

Page 82: Third full sentence. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

“‘You should have warned her.”

Warnings are a particular thing, aren’t they? Do they work and are they the best option?

In high school, I went to a school dance with a friend. We both went to Youth Group and while we went to different schools, we knew a lot of people from each others because of youth group. At this dance, we saw Jordan. He was the “bad boy” crush that all of us had in a lingering sort of way. It was never all the way there, but he was always somebody that would cause somersaults in your stomach, but dating him was out of the question. He always wore a hat and was pimply and yet, he was reserved and that attracted a lot of the girls.

Jordan and Melissa were dating. They had been caught at a few Youth Group meetings ago kissing in the chapel. They were the reason we suddenly had the no PDA or PC rule. It severely limited game time.

Back to the dance with my best friend. We were there and we saw Jordan. No Melissa in sight. Well, that didn’t mean much. Considering his ‘bad boy’ appearance, he probably never got the permission slip signed. No big deal that is until we saw him dancing with another girl.

I don’t know why, but moving your butt into a guy’s groin was a sign of affection at dances. Grinding was the thing to do. I remember the first time I did it and I look back, shameful. Yuck. Still it persisted at these high school dances with teachers who didn’t let us hug while we slow-danced but was fine with the fast grinding dances. Once again, yuck.

So Jordan and this girl who was not Melissa were going at the gross dancing. The year before I had been dumped for doing this same thing with another guy. This was CHEATING. At least to us in our tenth/eleventh grade mind.

Of course we tried to be clever. The three of us got together, smiled, and tried to place the picture frame to capture Jordan and maybe not me on the side. We don’t know if he saw us or it was by chance, but he moved. He did see us through the dance, but avoided eye contact most of the time. It wasn’t that weird, it’s not like we were friends. We liked Melissa, but Jordan was just her boyfriend who we crushed after every once and a while.

After this dance, we hung back after devotionals and talked to our favorite person, the female youth group leader. Shelianna still holds a soft spot in my heart. I saw her as the perfect strong, Christian woman and still do. They lived on a farm, she has ten kids (then it was around six?), and she works at a correctional facility. There was a lot to juggle and she never sat backseat to her husband. If my friend and I were to seek advice, it was going to be from her.

We didn’t tell her the names and she didn’t want to know. We told her that  there was a girl in youth group who’s boyfriend we had seen dancing with another girl. Do we tell her? Do we warn her? Should we even consider it as cheating?

Shelianna ended up telling us no, don’t tell her. At least not yet. We were worried Melissa would be upset that she never knew and found out there was something more going on between those two. We were also worried she’d be mad at us for not telling her. Shelianna, I think, thought they’d end up breaking up and of course, they did a few weeks later. I talked to Melissa after and acted sad that they broke up, but it was obvious she didn’t buy it. I said I never trusted Jordan. She said “he was cheating on me, wasn’t he?” Not an ounce of surprise just sadness. I told her what I saw and she said it was okay, she wasn’t mad I never said anything.

This warning a small one compared to others, but it’s one you’re never sure about especially when it comes to friends or even people who are only acquaintances. Do you warn a friend when you don’t like her boyfriend? Do you warn her when you saw him possibly cheating on her? What if you heard he sexually assaulted somebody?

I’ve tried giving out warnings, but what I’ve found is that the results are inconclusive. I have warned my best friend that the girl he was dating wasn’t okay. He chose not to listen and it worked for him, I think. (Or at least he refuses to tell me that he ended up worse after her, I’m not sure). They ended up breaking up and he learned a lot from that relationship. I have a current friend who is dating a guy her mom consistently warns her about. I think she holds onto him more. It’s not that I dislike him, but there are warning signs every once in a while. Do I say something? Right now, I choose not to and hope nothing bad will happen because of my silence.

It’s scary to stay silent and many people will not heed your warning and instead are proven right or don’t want to listen to “I told you so.” What about yourself? Are you guilty if you don’t say something and they get hurt? Warnings are difficult to give and they’re difficult to receive. Changing somebody is hard and people say you can’t change another person. I disagree in a way. I know I’ve been changed by people, but it relies on learning to understand oneself and reacting to it a specific way. A guy who cheats on a person won’t necessarily cheat on another. He might, but it may be for a different reason. Eventually he might come to understanding why he does what he does and figure out a way to change with the person he is in love with. This goes the same for girls.

So rambly post, but that’s my incorporation of that sentence or more so, my reaction to it.

<a href="https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/connect-the-dots/">Connect the Dots</a>

Oh Canada! (Sorry Canada)

Image Search

Pick a random word and do Google image search on it. Check out the eleventh picture it brings up. Write about whatever that image brings to mind.

The word I chose was stamp. I work at a library. It was what was in front of me. The eleventh picture was:

 CANADA!

There’s actually a Wiki article, but I decided to not read it because I guess I’m going to write about Canada since that’s the first thing it brought to my mind.

What do I know about Canada: the land that I can almost (not) see across the lovely Lake Ontario? Well here’s my quick list:

Robin Sparkles

Yes, this was necessary.

Some type of food that’s a mix of french fries, gravy and maybe cheese? (Poutine?????)

Justin Beiber

I know nothing about hockey but I think Canda likes it?

Moose

Universal Healthcare that some hate and others love (I love, but I don’t pay taxes yet, so I might hate.

Cold.

So yeah, that’s about it I know about Canda (Sorry Canada). Weird food, How I Met Your Mother, horrible pop singers, tax issues, and wonderfully giant animals. Oh and eh! Once again, I am so sorry Canada.

(Also the sorrys are not in any case a reference to the apologetic-ness of Canada. I actually apologize that much)

<a href="https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/daily-prompt-5/">Image Search</a>

Faith and Religion: My Personal Journey

In Good Faith

Describe a memory or encounter in which you considered your faith, religion, spirituality — or lack of — for the first time.

My family was not full of faith, they didn’t go to church on Sundays, they didn’t do devotionals, and we didn’t talk about God. I went through a short period of terror where I was worried my parents wouldn’t go to heaven and they were damned to hell, but it passed. I could do this post about spirituality, but I’ve been meaning to talk about some of my history with religion, so this seems to be a good post to do it in.

At the age of two, I was going to Awana with my babysitter and sometimes church on Sunday. While my parents didn’t go, this church was a family tradition. My great-grandfather was a deacon (I always incorrectly assumed this was equivalent to a pastor) and my dad used to go to the church as well. While they weren’t religion, they were traditional, so it only made sense for me to go too. I went to Awana from 1st grade (Sparky) to 7th grade (a year over what I was supposed to and this was called TNT). There wasn’t much going on during these years. When we first heard the talk of being saved, I was seriously disturbed. What I remember is rushing home and praying to God to ask him in my heart. I had no clue what I was saying, but I didn’t want to go to Hell. That’s for sure. My mom remembers me coming home and freaking out about it. She said she worried about sending me back because I was so scared. I don’t remember this, but I could believe that it happened.

My AWANA and Youth Group days were pretty great. I met my best friend in fifth grade and we went through Youth Group together too. During this period I didn’t question God or my faith that much. I was always moved during worship time. I loved it when my leaders talked to us. They were like a second family and still some of my favorite people. About this time in high school though I started to seriously question my faith. I think this is an important period for everyone and it should happen because there’s a possibility of bringing oneself closer to God. For me, it didn’t work out that way.

For me, I never subscribed to some of the beliefs that many Christians seem to have that tie in with politics. I can’t think of a time when I thought people who loved  to same sex were bad. I remember the first time hearing about it and I thought it was weird, but I got over that as I got older. There was never a time where I could believe that God would condemn somebody for love when they weren’t taking another life. If a murderer could be forgiven, why not somebody who was gay?

This common belief of condemning homosexuals to Hell didn’t shake me out of my religion. What ended up starting that was the thought of why would God create a world and have people worship Him? None of us asked to be created, we just were. I think of this in comparison to my parents. I never asked to be born, but here I am existing. I respect my parents and am quite happy that I was born (I think, it’s hard to think about yourself not existing because than none of these thoughts would exist and would it really matter?). Though I respect them, I don’t think it would be okay for them to kill me off or disown me because I didn’t make the choice they wanted me to make. Disowning a child is horrible to me. The Bible says when one of his children make a bad decision He cries. My mom would cry if I made a bad decision and went to jail. The Bible also says God has a plan for each and every one of us. It also says humans were given free will (humans versus elves in Tolkien? Anyone?) making it so we can make decisions though there’s a plan supposedly made for us. All of this is confusing and I’m sure somebody who studies the Bible could explain it to me and it might not be full of contradictions, but this is just my basic understanding. So my faith started to waver. Why would something create people so they would only worship that person? Especially considering that being gave people free will. We have the right to make bad decisions but doing that will damn us to hell just like choosing heroin can damn us to death. My analogies are getting mixed.

So overall this is where I am today. I would not go so far to say I’m an atheist or even agnostic. Maybe it’s because of my childhood or the idea of tradition. I know the last time I clearly remember praying is when my brother’s girlfriend had her baby and he didn’t survive. This is important because that’s when I can remember truly having faith. It’s not important in the loss of faith. I understand that God can place hardships because there’s always a reason. That’s something I never questioned.

There’s a lot of rambling here as anyone who talks about religion, faith, or spirituality will do. This is my opinion though and I’m not sure if I’ll ever untangle the web. I probably will send my kids to AWANA because I found so much value to it both in this world and in God’s. What I do hope though is that they will always question (such as my sixth grade question of ‘what about the dinosaurs?’ Did I get a straight answer? Nope.) and understand that love is there and just as long as it’s not harming somebody and they understand that there are parameters. Maybe all of this stuff is just worldly and I should forget about it, but I exist and so do these thoughts.

When I was Sixteen….

“Tell us about the person you were when you were sixteen.”

Ew.

No. Not exactly, but sometimes, it’s painful to look back. I feel like I’ve already written this post before.

…..

No, but I did start another post with “oh gross.” When I was sixteen…hm. I’m going to have to give you some general information about what I was doing when I was sixteen.

Who I was dating: JJ

What I was writing: One Wish… I think. This seems like the most obvious choice since I was writing it for most of my high school career. I feel like I should begin posting my old, unedited novels that I’m not even interested in going back to edit. If you want to see them, you can. Just let me know, I’m very willing to share my shame.

Who I was hanging out with: Ali, Courtney, and Ben.

What I was reading: A whole lot of romance (particularly Sherilyn Kenyon)

What I wanted to major in when I got to college: Creative Writing (about the only thing that’s the same about me anymore)

So, there’s a few extra details that I would share, but I may start posting my blog on Facebook and my family’s nosy, so no. I would do it anyway, but family gatherings will be occurring soon so…No.

‘Different’ isn’t a powerful enough word when describing the comparison of me now and then. Then, I was caught up in my relationship and focused on my romantic future, not my educational one. I don’t even remember having a discussion with boyfriend-at-the-time about college unless it was about me going to a school close enough to him. I was attached and in a different way that I’m attached to Seneca.

I definitely wasn’t thinking in terms of the feminism I related to now. I did have beliefs in individuality though I never noticed my dependency in an unhealthy relationship. I also still wanted to make decisions by myself and didn’t let people tell me what to do. Since I was planning on going in college as a Creative Writing major, I was questioned about it a lot. Most of them were “well what are you going to do with that?” I was firm with what I was going to do and am happy I was.

That summer was my last year at Camp Bayouca. It was probably my least fun as well since I had more questions than I ever had and was uncomfortable asking them. It was a Christian camp and while I have awesome memories, there are some unsure ones. At the end of camp though, my mom picked me up with Bella puppy! AWWWW

She’s so fat and cute!

Bella’s the best.

I was more social and not as shy as I am now about meeting new people. Sure, I was annoying and a bit of a spaz (descriptions for teenage girls who actually share their opinion!), but I did have more friends. I went to group gatherings and we did what we could considering the tiny town we lived in. This included bonfires, parties of soda and pizza, gossiping about whomever couldn’t make it to that party, and occasionally going to the mall when we could get someone to drive us there. My Junior year was probably the best year in High School if there is a such a thing. I have a lot of memories that I couldn’t erase. Some are tainted by the changes we all went through, but hey -insert some saying about being 16-