Daily Post: Being Alone

You are on a mission to Mars. Because of the length of of the journey, you will never be able to return to Earth. What about our blue planet will you miss the most?

People.

As much as I complain about people, I couldn’t be without anybody. They can be annoying, insufferable, and can cause a lot of bullshit, but there are those few gems that make it all worthwhile.

 

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“You Are My Everything”

Remember my first post where I said I was really bad at updating blogs and such? Well, remember that.

So, I’ve been away for a painfully long time while finishing essays and finals. I took a week of relaxation and hopefully now, blogging will become my addiction again. I work at the library for five hours and there’s nothing to do for 3 of those hours. The chairs aren’t comfortable enough for me to just read, so blogging it is (hopefully).

Once again the disclaimer of blah blah blah…this entirely my opinion….blah blah blah….it’s not the same for everyone.

Let’s start!

One of my biggest love-relationship fear is becoming somebody’s whole world.

Baby, you're my missing puzzle piece.
If I could find you, my whole world would be complete...

…And that grammar and punctuation.

It’s romantic, it’s swoon-worthy, and when you see and hear these romantic words in a romance, you can’t help but make an embarrassing squeal. (Of course, some of you aren’t romantics and probably puke when you watch/read this.) It’s perfectly fine in the movies and the books, but I firmly believe that’s where it should stay.

“You’re my whole world.” “You’re all I need.” It all sounds cute, but it has pretty depressing undertones if you consider the break-up. And with these relationships, you see a lot of break-ups.

A friend of mine just broke up with his girlfriend (who’s another friend of mine, yes it is as awkward as it sounds) and he is depressed. He chose to break-up with her, but he didn’t expect her to be happier without him. They had one of those “you’re all I need” type of relationships. They planned out their future in detail and when they broke up, he went on a downward spiral. To make this short-he’s had three almost attempted suicides. It’s sad and he’s getting help.

Why the “you’re my whole world” type of relationship might have these consequences is because you value this relationship over yourself and what it takes to form who you are or who you will be. I’m not saying that a break-up has to happen just because you’re changing jobs/majors/schools, but it means that these needs should be considered. A relationship might break.

If I had a SO tell me I was their whole world, it would be overwhelming. It means that if I fail them, they fail. I never want that type of relationship. I’m more into the idea of two individual people who support each other. I want my SO to come to me for advice, comfort, and to have a good time with and I want to be able to do that as well.

This “all or nothing” relationship seems adolescent to me, but I’ve never been married and am quite young, so what do I know? This is all opinion and has stemmed from my friends’ break-up. I would like to hear your thoughts if you  have any.

Scholarship Essay

I’m applying for a scholarship in the Women’s Studies Department and I would love some feedback or even a like if you enjoy it and find it compelling. I’m nervous, but would love to have the money for next semester when some of my grants will be taken away. 

I’m also sending this into my professor and am terrified she’ll call it crap and that’ll be the end of that. I’m one of those people who always want to impress a professor. HELP!

Include a statement (500-600 words minimum) on your goals and role as an activist, the impact of your work, and your plans to continue your work on behalf of women.

 

Silence has been my response for when I was put in a situation when I had to stand up for what I believed in. It was easier than offending somebody and facing negative consequences. This was my stance for eighteen years until I went into college and learned that to make a difference, I had to be loud. Not only that, I needed to start taking steps to being an activist. Not only did I need to learn how to say what I wanted, I needed to show how it could happen, demonstrate it in my own actions, and convince others that making a change was needed. I found this to be most important when I took a class on Trafficking and went to India to listen to a panel discussion on the laws regarding women there.

I met a number of activists in India and they were prepared with what was happening, where it came from, and how they were going to change it. One panelist spoke about how sexual assault is defined by anything that makes a woman uncomfortable and that includes cat-calling from men on the streets. A number of my peers scoffed at this idea, claiming this wasn’t harming the woman and women have to put up with much worse at the clubs and bars in the United States. The panelist asked them if that meant it should be accepted just because it was a common occurrence. It was harder to argue against her ideas after this question. It brought my attention to a number of instances that are accepted because “it’s going to happen anyway.”

Literature is a part of media that has been influencing people much longer than movies and television shows. What is shown in these books gives readers the ability to track the changes throughout history of culture and people. It gives an account of how people treated others, including women. Now, books are being produced with mixed messages. Some have women acting as girl in need while others have women who stand strong for what she believes in no matter the consequences. In popular fiction, it’s harder to come across the latter, but it is possible. What I find to be important is to bring up these books and create new writers who realize how their words are going to affect their audience. They may consider this in plot, but the basic relationship between the characters is more important than most might think. These women can be a mother, a girlfriend, or a wife. What needs to be conveyed is that they’re more than this. Many authors want to write round characters so they create the loving girlfriend, the nosy mother, or the crazy wife. These depictions are further perpetuating that women only have so many identities. Even if these identities are positive, they’re ones that take away the identity of a person and only throws them in a category. One day, I plan to be able to write more on this subject and if I am able to publish fiction, I want to be able to be a feminism activist by writing women that are complete people and are not shown as objects.

“It’s going to happen anyway,” is a popular response to feminists who are becoming activists in their community. It’s easy to be quiet for there won’t be backlash from others, but it’s difficult for someone when they realize that they had an opportunity to begin making a change and they didn’t seize it. I plan to become a stronger activist, but at this point, I’m making as many waves as I can. My first essay I wrote on the topic was looking at how Tolkien wrote women in The Silmarillion and The Lord of the Rings. Since then, I have read books that are on the popular shelf with a critical blog and made comments in my own notes and in a blog. My plan is to strengthen my personal thoughts on feminism and the way I think it should be shown in literature. I also plan to write stories that can create readers who say that women being seen as people with identities who have the same rights as men is “going to happen anyway.”

Thanks for any feedback you can give and wish me luck!

I Ate My Weight in Uttapam

…No, I didn’t. It was good though. If you haven’t heard of this Southern Indian Delicacy, it tastes like a potato pancake mixed with a pizza. It was the only food I liked in India and I got it if it was available.

I went to India!

Without a camera, so I have no pictures. I can steal pictures from others which I will do soon in my next post. Right now, I’m just checking in with those who read this.

I did have some interesting experiences. I went in a tuk-tuk an experienced the fear of almost dying. For those of you that don’t know….

They’re even scarier in real life considering the traffic.

I survived despite the crazy, cringe-worthy traffic.  It was around 70-80 degrees, so that was a nice difference from the snow of New York. Right now it’s near white out conditions in good ol’ Oswego. I’m missing the heat. I really am.

First day of classes, so I should go to those. Found out there’s a Harry Potter class and I’m not signed up for it. I’m off to figure out what this class is, if it fits in my schedule, and make possible threats so I can manage to get into it. Hopefully, it won’t overload my English classes. (Fingers crossed!)

Where Have I Been?

I know, try and contain your excitement.

Anyway, I have been gone for almost the entire month of November.

Why?

NANOWRIMO!!!!

….Unfortunately, I failed. I tried to write, I really did. There were days when I would hammer out 10,000 words and feel great. I wrote almost everyday, but then last week happened and I just stopped. I got to about 33,000 words and I’m still proud of myself. Mostly, I just got bored of the novel I was writing. It was a story for me and nothing I would want to revisit. I’m glad I wrote as far as I did, but it will probably sit there and not do a thing and instead just be a reminder of my attempt.

At least there was an attempt.

Also, if there is anyone on here who reads this and attends college, you may sympathize with me when you realize that it was last week where I stopped. If you haven’t attended college yet, heads up, the week before Thanksgiving is the most painful week. Papers, presentations, random homeworks, and everything else is due. I had also been trying to figure out my VISA for India (which online said it might not be here on time. Uh-oh) and that was a painful time. I was on the verge of tears everyday and fun didn’t exist. To add to that, my boyfriend and I have been in the possibility of breaking up and I was emotionally drained. (I might write about that, but really don’t hold your breath.)

So, that’s my little story of where I’ve been and how I actually didn’t stop blogging. It’s going to be slow moving while I remember how to update more often than once a month, but I will attempt that. I like to pretend that their are people out there who love to read this. I have one friend who has the link and I’m curious as to if he keeps up with it, but I don’t have high hopes. (He has problems keeping up with anything, it seems.)

Hmmmm now that I have a post where I’m just rambling, I’ll give you some other updates. I’ve been reading some good books. I finished Allegiant which I did enjoy despite the ending. If you haven’t read it and like The Hunger Games, Maze Runner, and other such YA dystopian, I would recommend the Divergent series. Also, the movie comes out in February. I watched Catching Fire and that was pretty good as well. It was one of the better book to movies I’ve seen.

What else? I’m looking into Grad Schools for some point in the next few years. Currently, I’m set on going for Creative Writing, but I’ll see. I’m set on Hollins (Virginia) right now, but that could be because it’s snowing here in New York and I hate the cold. They say that if you’re born in a cold area you’ll toughen up and I’ll just put my thoughts on that here:

It’s too cold.

Okay, I’m wrapping this post up and will plan on writing more. I may even write ahead of time and then publish when I feel like it. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?!

I’m also looking at one or two more blogs. Originally, this blog was supposed to be about the books I read, but people tend to like my random thoughts better which is cool and everything, but I really want to write about books. I’m thinking about doing a “how it should have ended” blog as an addition. Also, I really want to start talking about self-image and social constructions of what the female is supposed to be like. It’s be fun to talk about feminism being a real, live human being. I’d like to hear your opinion and if you don’t want to share that, whatever, that’s cool too. I’ll be referencing a lot of Laci Green as well and if you haven’t heard of her, GO TO YOUTUBE. She’s kind of my favorite thing right now.


Both of these girls are my favorite. Hannah Hart is amazing.

Actually, guys I’m going to talk about her in my next post. There is so much hate going on towards her. I think it’ll be a fun time. Unless of course you hate all of that feminism human talk.

Harry Potter Part 2

What I’m about to write about is one of my favorite subjects to talk about in any fantasy. I believe that a fantasy work isn’t complete without the topic of redemption in it. I didn’t become interested in the idea of redemption until I took a Tolkien class. If you’ve read The Lord of the Rings and especially The Silmarillion, redemption is one of the most important themes. Tolkien was one to put a form of redemption in his text and make a reader question if the character managed to redeem himself (Borimir, Galadriel, and Gollum are the ones that stick out the most). J.K. Rowling also uses this sense of redemption as well.

This is one of those posts that are going to be mostly set in the books since the movies took out a lot of information about this. (Too sad) There are three characters that stick out to me the most, but I’m sure there are more if I think about it.

Dudley is a minor character, but that chapter was one I remember reading so perfectly. I believe I even cried. Then again, it might have been because I  had just started Deadly Hallows.

This was a scene in the movie, but it was cut. I wish it hadn’t been since we did see a bit of Dudley traumatizing Harry. For those of you who only watch the movie and haven’t seen the cut scene, this is basically what happens. The Dursley’s are ready to set out after being told that Voldemort will try to use them to get to Harry. There’s a great line where they both are thinking silently to themselves if Harry would even come to rescue them. The answer isn’t there, but it’s one that I’ve always wondered as well and adds more character to Harry even though it’s not a big point. Anyway, when they’re about to leave, Dudley doesn’t move. He asks why Harry isn’t going with them. He doesn’t understand that they’re about to separate. Another character chastises the Dudley’s for not understanding where Harry’s going. Harry tells her that he’s only been a waste of space to them. Then Dudley says this: “I don’t think you’re a waste of space.” The surprise and shock I felt at that moment was right with Harry’s. He tells the witch that it’s like an I love you from Dudley. They shake and Dudley leaves. End of scene.

It’s such a small moment for Dudley, but did he redeem himself? He had teased and beat up Harry all through his seventeen years. Many were angry with him, but do you blame a child for acting on something when he’s known no difference? He had been taught that Harry was abnormal and an awful boy. He was something that Dudley couldn’t understand and only learned at the hip of his parents. You could stretch this to the idea of homophobic children because that’s what they know. They don’t understand why a person likes somebody of the same gender, so it’s weird and can even be a reason to tease somebody or fear it. Dudley is terrified of Harry’s magic. He doesn’t understand it.

When he has to face Harry leaving, it’s like a whole new world for Dudley. He’s always had Harry. He’s the little brother he was taught to hate though he might not have known why. Dudley wasn’t a bright kid and I don’t think he learned how to think for himself until then. Yes, I’m still angry at what happened to him, but he was nothing but a child. He didn’t know what Harry was. He’s still a bully to other children and still awful, but I think he manages to have a moment of redemption when he realizes his brother of sorts may die in a battle that Dudley can’t even begin to comprehend.

Also, Rowling apparently debated on having Harry see Dudley in the epilogue putting his magical child onto the train. I get goosebumps every time I think of this possibility. It would be amazing and emotional. She decided not to because Petunia killed any possible magic from her side of the family, but still. *Shivers*

So, I just learned that people really hate Wormtail like they hate Umbridge. I was taken by surprise. I know he’s an awful cowering creature, but just like Dudley, he doesn’t know how to think for himself. Before I go further I would just to let you in my head. I don’t believe that there is any reason for somebody to kill another person or make somebody’s life a living hell no matter what that person has been through. We create our own future. The only reason why I could forgive Dudley is because he was still a child and he was changing even if we didn’t get to see what he ended up being. Peter Pettigrew is different because he’s an adult and his point of redemption is one where people really have to ask if he redeemed himself.

Now this is another important scene that was taken from the movie. It’s a scene that still bothers me. I thought it was one of the most important themes in Harry Potter and they took it out. I was disappointed, but I realized I didn’t notice it until I had a conversation about redemption. What happens in said scene is that Wormtail catches Harry and his friends escaping from the prison in the basement of Malfoy Manor. He has his wand pointing at Harry and then Harry says “You’re going to kill me? After I saved your life? You owe me Wormtail!” Wormtail hesitates and in this hesitation the silver hand that Voldemort created, turns on him and strangles him. Dumbledore, later on, said that Harry knew that Pettigrew felt regret. The hand that Voldemort created was evil and didn’t understand those feelings.

Some people wish that he had been killed because it’s what he deserved. Harry couldn’t have killed him because, well, that’s not Harry. I think that it turning on him was the best possible situation. Now did he redeem himself?

He committed one act by letting Harry go. He didn’t even entirely do that, but he felt a bit of regret and that was enough. Since he couldn’t control himself, I don’t think he necessarily redeemed himself. Still, it was close. This is one of those situations where it’s up to the reader. This is what it usually is no matter the situation. It’s all going to be up to the reader to tell if he redeemed himself and still we can’t be sure. I’m on the fence about Peter. Without him having that small act of guilt, it would have ended completely different.

If anyone can look at that image without almost breaking down (or completely), I give you props. Let me tell you, I’m at work right now and am trying to ignore what I just posted because tears will come. They’re guaranteed to. I remember getting to the end of this chapter and just being completely shocked. “How could you do this to me, Rowling? How?!” Of course, I was happy because I like seeing characters turn out good after being really, really bad (I’m watching Buffy  and Angel right now and let me tell ya, I have a lot of hope for Connor, Spike, Wesley, Angel, Faith, Willow, and everybody in that show.) But anyway, I think Snape is one of the most well written characters I’ve come across.

Still, we can talk about redemption with him. Many people say that Snape is their favorite character because they actually like him. I can’t say that. Yes, he went through all of that bad stuff when he was a child and then he lost the only one he’s ever loved, but that doesn’t make him a good person. He was brave. He could hold love, He was still horrible to both Harry and Neville. Harry obviously had forgiven him, but I’m not too sure about Neville. Snape put both of them through so much, I’m not sure how that could be something I could get over.

To the redeeming. He’s such an odd character and I definitely think he redeemed himself, but he’s like all the rest of the characters. People are not good or bad, they walk on the line in between the two and will tend to stumble in either direction. Snape acted for himself through all of the times, something that Dumbledore tried to get him to stop doing. Snape was selfish, though he did save Harry and protected him It was out of love for Lily and I think that if Harry was James’s son and not Lily’s at all, even if he was going to end up saving the Wizarding World, Snape would have stayed with Voldemort.

It was out of love that Snape bothered staying good, something that Tom Riddle couldn’t comprehend as Harry explains at the end. Redemption for him is one that has to be left up to your opinion. Mine is that I think all three characters managed it, in the end.

Finally, a Harry Potter Post!

Oh my goodness.

I am so excited right now.

Why?

Because…

I FINALLY…

get to talk about the greatest thing ever…

the most wonderful series of books I could ever find…

It’s wonderful, isn’t it?

HARRY POTTER!!!!!

*squealing*

So, yeah. My love for Harry Potter is one that has lasted a long time. There have been times when it wasn’t so obvious in my life such as my Senior year of High school. (Why didn’t I pick a Harry Potter quote for the yearbok, WHY?) But it always comes back and I fall deeply in love. Since High school, I have fallen in love with Harry Potter all over again. I love the movies and the books. The books are obviously better, but I can’t say no to the movies. Especially with all the lovely gifs it has blessed me with. Anyway, I’m going to do this in list form, so I can use favorite pictures and tell you why and what I love about Harry Potter. I’m also going to break it up because some are longer than others. There will be more posts later on! I hope you’re as excited as I am! (That’s not possible)

This was originally written last week during Banned Books Week, but I didn’t get to finish it. I’ll try and post parts as much as possible. I’m pretty excited about it!

Now to start with the first two:

1) I grew up with it. This will always be reason #1. Of course, those who read it later on in life can love it just as much, but the feeling of reading it for the first time when you’re just seven years old and growing up with the Potter kids is amazing.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures of me reading Harry Potter. My parents were not picture fans nor did they think the Harry Potter craze was going to last. My mother actually didn’t want me to read Harry Potter. She thought it would be too difficult for me to get through and I had to beg to read it. I don’t remember why I wanted to read it so much, but I was set on it. I was so excited when I finished the first one and came out to my parents, set the book down on the couch, and said triumphantly, “I’m done!”. They sat there and barely looked up, “that’s nice.” Thanks parents for all your support. (They weren’t bad parents, but it was true that I didn’t understand a lot of what I read. I had a habit of skimming as a child) Either way, I still fell in love with the series.

 

2) Hermione

Don’t worry, you’ll get him back.

That even made ME feel better.

I agree.

In my search for a gif of Hermione in OOTP, I found this.

The feels….

And we’re back….

There was so much giggling during the scene. Not so fun fact, this is the only movie I didn’t see in theaters.

And even more laughter.

This is the most used one ever, but I really can’t think of any others.

 

She’s the girl, and eventually the woman, I’ve always looked up to. I read an article saying that Hermione is the anti-feminist because of all her tears and screams. Can you imagine if we didn’t have a Hermione who had emotions? I believe that the strongest characteristic of a woman is the ability to hold so many emotions and the love we can have for others. People brought her down because she cried when Ron left. He was her best friend and she knew she may possibly die on the trip. He could die too. Yes, Harry was upset, but he didn’t know what else to do. She did leave with Harry and also left the possibility of ever seeing Ron again.

Also, she’s the brains of the group. Not only that, but she’s the one who brings logic in despite her emotions. Can you imagine the trio without Hermione? It wouldn’t exist. She had flaws and strengths just like a normal person. She could be an insufferable know-it-all, but she could also care about her friends and help them find their way.

I don’t know what I would have done without her.